Not news: Election experts predict problems in state in '08
Would you really expect anything less in Florida? Isn't this part of the fun that you moved here for?
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/18/08

Old fart busted for Dollar General armed robbery
I warned you to stay off my lawn but you didn't listen, now empty the cash register
-- WWSB, 04/17/08

Venetian Golf & River Club -- sorry folks, but you are so screwed
That sand trap is a killer; You can blame the man who wrote the annexation: Jeff Boone, but Boone is ducking and blaming the Venice Taxpayers League for their opposition to the original annexation
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/17/08

All work and no play makes Ed a dull boy
all work and no play makes Ed a dull boy all work and no play makes Ed a dull boy all work and no play makes Ed a dull boy all work and no play makes Ed a dull boy (stephen king will get the joke even if nobody else does)
-- Ed Martin's blog, 04/12/08

Short term renters: the terrorists in our midst
Having failed at every level to wipe out the scourge of evil tourism, city hall to try new tactic: labeling tourists as terrorists, shooting them on sight
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/15/08

Meet Bluto, Otter, Pinto, and Flounder -- your Florida legislators
"Negron had to take a roll of paper towels to a wolf spider for Mahon, who ran screaming from the bathroom at the sight of it;" Oh please, oh please, let there be video of this
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/14/08

Dear city council: STFU
Changing the start time of meetings is not going to reduce oral flatulence
-- letters, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/12/08

Gondo's thought for the day: Let's look in the toilet!
(link may or may not go to correct story, Gondo keeps changing the link) Fresh out of ideas for stories, the Gondo takes an in-depth investigative look at porta-potties
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 04/11/08

Naked in Arcadia
All roads lead to nudie swimming hole
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 04/12/08

Sharks Tooth Fest kicks off today
Sharks can look but not touch as tasty humans party at the waters' edge
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/11/08

City's pro-development history puts a cement plant and a mining operation next to a country club -- so what's the problem?
Dean Calamaras returns to town to help finish the fine job of hodge-podge land mismanagement that his administration is famous for
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 04/11/08

Amber Lee's husband sues; 911 tape released
Herald-Trib posts the audio of the 911 call that should have saved Amber Lee's life
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/11/08

Barbara Gross shows her second face
As a city commissioner for North Port, Barbara Gross has been a huge tumor for growth in one of the state's most cancerous cities; termed out in North Port and running for county commission against Shannon Staub, Gross has suddenly become an environmentalist; in other news, pigs fly, film at 11
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/10/08

COUPON: Get a free drink at Tavern on the Island and save 15% on a stay at the hotel rooms above the bar
"Ask for Michael and mention GayFlorida.com!" Wait... hotel?... What?... What hotel???
-- coupons, GayFlorida.com

We're gettin' stuff done and moving right along
-- Ed Martin's blog, 04/05/08

Council meetings go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/08/08

Dent cleared of election tampering
State prosecutor declines to file charges after determining that the elections supervisor is way too stupid to be capable of formulating criminal intent
-- Pelican Press, 04/03/08

Hizzoner to Gondo publisher: You're an idiot, you can't help it, we love you anyway, but you're an idiot
Gondo's Vedder has been off his meds for years, mayor pleads with the newspaper publisher to please, please, please seek professional help
-- Ed Martin's blog, 03/30/08

Vellucci gets a pass, told he'll get a harsh lecture and a dirty look if he violates permit rules again
It was all a big sitcom misunderstanding, as tavern owner and code enforcement board have a good laugh over threats made to city employees
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/04/08

Doctors complain that news reports of drug trafficking convictions are affecting their medical practices
In other news, the steroid shops are open for business again
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/05/08

Behrens under fire
"Tavern on the Island did not have a folder until February, five weeks after the bar opened; " -- Not in article: Curiously, that's right after Venice Florida! dot com started serious making inquiries
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/03/08
RELATED:
Today's code enforcement agenda
Response from Venice Florida! dot com

Norris is traded to Iowa for two teacher's aides and a future draft pick
Sarasota school board elated: Hey, we finally found a taker for this guy
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/01/08

Short term rentals -- two years into the battle and the Herald-Trib finally decides to take a safe, after-the-fact stance
Dear Herald-Trib: Where the hell have you been? This web site has been holding this opinion all along -- thanks for letting us take all of the heat alone gutless gutless gutless gutless bandwagon gutless
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/30/08

Other governments eye Sarasota... with envy?
Our new direction in growth management is a model test case for good behavior
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/3/008

Say, that new Gondo web site is...
A.) not bad.
B.) not working.
C.) craptacular.
D.) not.
(and we love the tombstone -- Venice is dead, long live Venice)
-- Vneice Glandalyre Sonnnn

Council to authorize funds for chemotherapy to fight growth at airport
It's sorta like a tumor
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/26/08

Plane crash pilot identified as State Farm agent Harry Lawrence
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/25/08

Control tower doesn't make sense for Venice Airport
There are 20,000 airports and heliports in the U.S., the FAA provides staff for 260 control towers -- you do the math
-- Ed Martin's Blog, 03/23/08

Tampa man is still a Golden Beacher at heart
"Look, I know I sound like a lunatic, but I'm not. I'm just a guy who wants them to admit that there's a problem here."
-- St. Pete Times, 03/21/08

Norris hears a clue - dead link
"I have two years and three months remaining on my contract, but my bosses are trying to push me out the door." -- Figured that one out all on your own, eh Sparky?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/21/08

Airport, North Venice -- We're still working on it
Hizzoner ponders, among other things, how to not allow the homes in Gulf Shores to end up in a runway protection zone
-- Ed Martin's Blog, 03/20/08

Drug dealing doctors are A-OK in Florida because... well... this is Florida
Operation Which Doctor goes after steroid dealing MDs in criminal catch and release deal; Wait... What?... Which doctor?
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/24/08

This week's legal action against the city is brought to you by the fine folks who live in Venetian Golf & River Club
We no like-a da Wal-Mart, and doze tall-a buildings? Dey no good, take-a dem out, and-a wassis? -- wait a minute, dere ain't no sanity clause
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/22/08

Faulty valve blamed for island water outage
Not in story: It doesn't help that utility supervisors couldn't find the valve to determine if it was actually faulty or not until well into the water outage
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/22/08

Good thing that Nick Carlucci is not bitter
Ousted from the Airport Advisory Board after allegations of Sunshine Law violations surfaced, Carlucci is back in the news for some unknown reason; oh, and he's not happy
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/22/08

Short term rental case sends ripples through state, will likely become landmark case
Hey, when we screw things up, we screw them up in the biggest way possible
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/21/08

Venice short-term rentals case is being hailed nationally as a landmark decision
Positive spin: Venice is now one of the top ten best municipalities to sue in the country
-- Coalition for Property Rights, 03/20/08

Charlie Chaplin repairs water pipes, entire island goes dry
Welcome to Keystone
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/21/08

Milo wins, planning commission grins: "We told ya so"
Gondo story | Herald-Trib story
Judge tells city council that they're pulling law out of their butt, which is what the planning commission said way back when; official word from city hall: "No comment"
-- 03/20 & 03/21/08

Shopped at Sweetbay? Cancel your credit and debit cards. Now.
Grocery chain's credit card database stolen; at least one online news report indicates credit card fraud has already taken place from the stolen info
-- ComputerWorld, 03/19/08

Planning commission to city council: Die in a fire
Planning Commissioner John Osmulski has a few unresolved issues on building heights that he'd like to bring up in group
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/19/07

County Manager Jim Ley wants to calm your fears about his job and salary -- they're safe
As for the rest of you slobs that still call yourselves county employees, Ley wants you to know that the welfare and unemployment benefits in this state are a pretty good deal, so please stop your pathetic whining about feeding your kids
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/19/07

Venice High School rebuild to include paranoia and claustrophobia
The downside: Orwell Cameras® everywhere;
The upside: School district can make extra money in the summer renting the school out to movie makers who need location footage for prison movies;
Bonus upside: Cheerleader dressing room security cameras
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/19/08

Sarasota cops wanting to beef up their car stereos hit upon genius plan
Impound and seize all of the best car stereos in the city -- Brilliant!
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/18/08

Grove Terrace in death throes: This town is too affluent to have poor people
We're white and we're rich and who the hell needs these dregs of society around anyway? We can't shoot 'em... wait, hold that thought
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/18/08

Attn.: Mike Miller
Pay close attention to this news story -- it might be the one thing that could save your ass
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/15/07

Play nice or we'll tell you again to play nice
The same paper that told Councilwoman Sue Lang to please move away now wants to be treated civilly; in other news, scientists discover new method to measure the blackness of pots and kettles
-- editorial, Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/16/08

Council, strategic plan stuck in the mud with two flat tires and a blown radiator
"Part of what has council paralyzed in the fiscal debate is what appear to be conflicting messages sent by the public" -- well, that and a propensity for gasbaggery and endless naval gazing
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/14./07

Now here's what we need at the airport: Chicken S#*t Bingo
Slidesow from Wired gives you all the straight poop
-- Wired, 03/15/08

Secretary of State to Hometown Democracy movement: Bring out your dead!
Co-founder Leslie Blackner refuses to get piled onto the corpse cart: I'm not dead yet
-- Pelican Press, 03/13/08

Sex scandal slide show
Somewhere out there, Barney Frank is rolling on the floor laughing his ass off
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/11/08

She's such a bitch: It's all Sue Lang's fault
Are you starting to notice a trend here in media coverage? Council gets sold a bill of goods, Sue Lang notices it first, is promptly called a bitch; council quiets down, gets another pile of rubbish dumped in front of them, Lang speaks out, she's a bitch again -- oh, and this is from the same newspaper that asked her to move back up north... nope, nothin' stilted here
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/09/08

Norris is going staying going staying going
Eh, who gives a crap? The guy's a wiener, he's screwed us over more than a couple of times, let's just run his sorry carcass out of town with pitchforks and torches and be done with it
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/10/08

Do you know me? (PDF)
If you do, the Sarasota Sheriff's Office would like to have a word with you
-- Sarasota Sheriff's Office, 03/06/08

Simmonds wants to give a spankin' to Sue Lang
Comedy gold from Venice's Get-Off-My-Lawn Man: "If (council members) misbehave, I have to do something;"
BONUS COMEDY: "By the time Simmonds made his motion, the city TV crew had shut down for the night" -- that would explain how the video clip ended up on YouTube a week ago
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/07/08

Sen. Schumer (D-NY) blasts Venice Airport flight school
Our flight schools are at it again, Schumer is angry, city hall is staying mum: "One of the schools that has recently been investigated for allowing foreign students to enroll without the proper documentation was attended also by 9-11 hijackers Mohammed Atta and Marwan al-Shehhi."
-- press release, Senator Schumer's official U.S. Senate site, 03/02/08

Larry Norman -- R.I.P.
"Larry was an interesting person in every sense of the word," Gospel Music Assn. president/CEO John Styll says. "He was one of the first to record what later became known as contemporary Christian music, but what he did in the early '70s was far edgier than most of what comes from that genre now."
-- Reuters, 02/29/08

Eight months from the Presidential elections in November and Florida has already managed to bollocks the entire process
Kathy Dent's hands are amazingly clean on this one -- there's a first time for everything
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/06/08

Actual headline: "Some county employees accepted gifts from contractors"
In other news, Isaac Newton has discovered gravity
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/06/08

Tourism is way, way, way up
"January bed tax collections in Sarasota County were $1.2 million, the most ever for the month"
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/05/08
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IRONY ALERT
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County pushing for $300 million infrastructure bond
County commissioners are using words like "visionary" to describe the initiative; somehow, that's not the adjective that immediately springs to mind
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/05/08

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel like ordering something from room service
Actual headline, "Venice pins hope on hotels;" Yes, it has come to this: our entire salvation as a community depends on valet parking and a breakfast bar; What hotel would Jesus check into?
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/04/08

The sunny side of foreclosure
Cue the Monty Python music: ♫♪ Look on the sunny side of life ♪♫
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/02/08

Annexations bamboozle annexers
City hall has now been reduced to a Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney movie: "Hey kids, I know -- let's put on a show!"
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/02/08

Florida acknowledges that Florida is Florida'd up beyond all recognition
Herald-Trib's bizarre editorial undertone: Growth was wonderful, look at all the good things it brought us -- we have to figure out a way to get back on that treadmill
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 03/02/08

Norris wants out of school system... again... again...
Somewhere out there is a perfectly good school system that needs to be as screwed up as Sarasota County's, and our school superintendent is on a quest to find it
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 03/02/08

Germany is the new Florida
Maybe hurricane season here isn't all that big a deal after all
-- The (German) Local, 03/01/08

Note to council: trying to strong arm the Italian-American Club is probably not a good idea
Council backs off from usurious special event fees
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/29/08

City manager gets unanimous vote of confidence from council
In other news, George Hunt would like it to be known that he's available and can report for duty with only 24 hours notice
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/28/07

Council to Sharky's: ...and the horse you rode in on
Blank lease engineered by... oh you know, that guy... is most likely headed for court; courthouse soon to be renamed Venice City Hall, South Annex
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/28/08

Tomato Pasta Park to get low calorie sauce
John Ryan tosses in some Kevin Bacon bits, Herb Levine tells council to keep it kosher
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/27/08

Insurance reform: We have good news and bad news
The bad news: State Farm, Allstate, Nationwide are outta here; The good news: OK, we lied about the good news part
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/27/08

Oh dented Kathy, thy doom is named Levko
Elections bungler Kathy Dent has made Sarasota County famous for all of the wrong reasons and yet she somehow holds onto the fairy tale fantasy that she will be re-elected
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/22/08

Bees with frickin' lasers discovered in secret weapons lab behind city hall
60,000 Africanized honey bees are removed from The Lord House; City Manager Marty Black denies any knowledge, cancels overnight lockdown party scheduled for mayor, newly elected council members
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/22/08

Of forests and trees
It's official: the honeymoon is over as the Herald-Trib accuses the new council of not being able to see the forest or the trees; Oh look -- a squirrel!
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/21/08

Hizzoner on Hizzoner
Hey, how we doin'?
-- Mayor Ed Martin, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/21/08

Fire department to offer free prostate exams today
Drop your drawers and bend over, cuz Fire Chief John Reed's fingers are coming in -- Mooo-ooOOON RIVER!!!
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/20/08

De-re-envisioning Venice
Earl Quandt has a problem with the way Envision Venice was re-envisioned over the past two years; apparently, so does the current city council
-- letters, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/20/08

For sale in Venetian Golf & River Club: 3-bedroom home with view of 4th hole -- that's a mining hole, by the way
Also: that's not an oversized ball washer, that's an 80-foot tall rock crusher
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/20/08

Amendment 1: The lawsuits begin
Here it comes, the first of what we predict will be many legal attacks on a badly written and ambiguous law -- it's only your homestead exemption at stake, nothing to worry about here
-- Orlando Sentinel, 02/14/08

The redemption of Herb Levine
Levine has been staying on message for over ten years and many, too many, didn't want to hear it -- time has finally caught up with a 'stop-the-madness' message that should have been heeded years ago
-- Eric Ernst, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/17/08 

Gondo gets Konecnik's dock story right...
Finally -- somebody in the print news biz gets this story right
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/17/08

...and then the Gondo craps all over itself after discovering porn on the internet
Computers hooked up to the internet can actually access pornographic images -- we're talking pictures of naked people doing naked stuff -- who knew such a thing could happen here?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/17/08

The most popular TV show in America and Europe -- and it's not on TV in America and Europe
Underbelly, a 13-part true-life Australian mini-series about the mafia in Sydney is banned in parts of its native country; thanks to the internet, it has become a huge international hit
BONUS LINK: A review of the show from Australia's Daily Telegraph
-- Wired, 02/15/08

Konecnik, Fisherman's Wharf gets bootfarked again by county
County turns Konecnik into an example of what happens when you DON'T offer bribes and graft to public officials
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/15/08

The good news: The county finds money for a merry-go-round for cars
The bad news: It will be built here
The good news: It will be fun, fun, fun, and it will somehow speed up traffic
The bad news: It's going to be called Thaxton's Revenge
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/15/08

No more noize at the airport, cuz we gots new rulez fer pilotz
Oh wait, they're only landing and takeoff suggestions, but they'll be printed in English on a tourist brochure -- problem solved!
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/15/08

Happy Valentine's Day... and now for our first headline of the day:
FDLE to look up Kathy Dent's skirt
GAAAAAAAH!!! Noooooooooo!!!
BONUS LINK: Comments on this story from Fark
-- Pelican Press, 02/14/08

U.S. 41 Bypass to go wideless
Wideless traffic will speed/slow things up/down, seen as an economic benefit/hindrance; in other news... wait, what?
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/14/08

The county government is to money as Leonardo DiCaprio is to iceberg (or something or other)
Pelican Press goes for an awkward and  extended Titanic metaphor in explaining the county's fiscal floes... er, woes; this article is safe for Golden Beach as it is 100% free of Québécois diva screech music
-- Pelican Press, 02/14/08

Hizzoner discusses rotation
Umm... errr...
-- Ed Martin's blog, 02/13/08

Bad craziness at owl farm
ESPN has reposted many of Hunter S. Thompson's web columns; here's one of Thompson's best and funniest
BONUS LINK: This web site's farewell to The Good Doctor
-- ESPN.com, original date unknown, sometime around 2001

A young person's guide to Sorrento Ranches vs. City of Venice
Watch for the careful use of the word "cluster" in this article... cluster... that's a very useful word... can anyone think of another word that goes with cluster?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/13/08

Boone doggled in fight with mayor
Dear Dan Boone:
Congratulations on your retirement. You deserve it. So do we.
Sincerely,
The citizens of Venice
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/13/07

Short-term rental crisis: Get these damned Canadians out of our neighborhoods!
Neighbors up in arms over Québécois swine inundating Golden Beach with their wild nodding off parties (with shocking pic of dangerous Canadians in shameful nap mode)
BONUS LINK: De-hacking this article
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/12/08

Hizzoner to Dan Boone:
Lincoln freed my butt and here's who will be on the Airport Advisory Board
Ed Martin drives through Dan Boone's front yard and knocks Boone's little jockey statues over
BONUS LINK: Martin's blog entry on AAB appointments
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/10/08

Fire fees, beach fees, utility fees, fee collection fees:
A note to county and city governments: Read our lips, what part of "no new taxes" didn't you get?
"We do not expect our local government to cut taxes at the front door, then sneak around to the back and launch new taxes to make up for it, [yet] the Sarasota County commissioners and staff are doing just that"
-- Eric Ernst, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/10/08

Ooops
About the article that the H-T published on John Nolen and Sue Lang -- sorry about that
-- corrections, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/09/08

Utilities get examined... finally
A compounding of problems that started under the former city manager and continued under the current one have led our city's utilities department into an engineering and fiscal critical mass situation -- but wait, that's not the bad news...
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/08/08

Nolen, Nolen, Nolen
John Nolen is the golden name to drop into any discussion on height and density, an instant win for whatever is being advocated; so who, really, was John Nolen?
-- Larry Evans, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/08/08

County's Republican Party head stands up for elections supervisor Dent
Eric Robinson writes that Kathy Dent has been an advocate for accessibility and oversight and that the state's determination on local oversight surprised Dent as much as everyone else; Robinson is responding to this news article from a few days ago
-- letters, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/08/08

Town hall meeting afterglow -- pillow talk, a sigh, and a cigarette
Editorial | Eric Ernst column
Fire fees go bye-bye? Herald-Trib thinks so, but watch for this beast to raise its ugly head again
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/07/08

Gondo on Town Hall -- leave anything out of the story, guys?
OK, the tale of reaction to fire department fees is here, but one of the bigger criticisms by residents was the lack of accurate news reporting on city hall -- oh look, that's not in this story; neither is the proposed idea to do away with council seat numbers
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/06/08

Beach good, poop bad
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/06/08

Super Blooper Tuesday:
Invisible ink ballots, fighting pollworkers snarl Chicago primaries, but Oprah saves the day
Geez, and Kathy Dent was nowhere near Chicago -- go figure
-- ABC News, 02/06/08

Town Hall meeting -- last night!
Biggest gripe: taxes and fees; curiously, one of the community's bigger complaints was that the news print media and the city's PR department both suck when it comes to covering Venice -- that, of course, did not make the papers
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/05/08

Elections supervisor wants less scrutiny -- yeah, there's a good idea
Kathy Dent, who has has been in national news time after time for screw-up after screw-up, figures that all of her problems will go away if people just stop scrutinizing her and her office
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/02/08

Town Hall meeting -- Tonight!
We're gonna rock it tonight, we're gonna mix it up and have us a ball
The CQG will grumble "fair fight," but if they start a rumble, we'll rumble 'em right... Tonight!
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 02/04/08

Video highlights of the big game -- Puppy Bowl
Animal Planet's fluffy contenders dominated the tube yesterday; meanwhile on Fox, we hear that a bunch of humans were on a TV yawner trying to re-enact the puppy game
-- Animal Planet via YouTube, 02/04/08

Nokomis mega-developer Henry Rodriguez backs off
"The current state of the economy for this product necessitates we hold off one year and see how it is at that point,"
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/04/08

Amendment 1 -- post-election blah blah yada yada
Nobody has a clue how this is all going to play out yet, so here's a bunch of interview quotes of folks all saying that they don't have a clue how this is all going to play out
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 02/01/08

Beach parking -- the metering of sunshine?
Cuz we wanna be tourist friendly, maybe, sorta, kinda
-- Pelican Press, 01/30/08

Tax cut terror tactics start
Oh you wanted stop lights and paved roads? Sorry, can't have both, pick one or the other. As to what you can have: more fees... fees for beach parking, fees for fire departments, fees to fund the newly hired fee collectors, and we'll think of some others along the way
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/30/08

Hizzonner apologizes to Gulf Shores for no-show, promises to tattoo the date of their spring picnic on his arm
While citizens of Venice are entirely used to mayoral screw ups, this apologizing thing is a bit disconcerting... next time, find a staffer to blame... this is obviously all the fault of [insert random bureaucrat here]
BONUS LINK: Jazz on Sunday  
-- Hizzoner's blog, 01/29/08

Property tax amendment passes by an almost 2-1 margin
Gondo story | Herald-Trib story
At this point in time, Venice Florida! dot com would like to suck up to it readers by lying in stating that we supported this amendment 100%
-- both stories, 01/30/08

Apparently unaware of Florida's housing glut, Gulf Coast Foundation's development project to get taller and wider
One third of project is for "workforce housing" (whatever that means this week), the rest is expansive Florida land development at its finest -- what could possibly go wrong?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/27/08

It's an open forum, only not so open and we're still working out the forum part
In trying to avoid a repeat of last year's disastrous town hall meeting, mayor and council try something innovative -- cue the Benny Hill music now
-- Eric Ernst, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/27/08

Johnny Smith, Randall Flagg, George Stark, Trashcan Man, Pennywise, and Annie Wilkes move to Sarasota County
It's not like there was a shortage of loonies and homicidal maniacs here already, so they'll fit right in
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/27/08

Venice Yacht Club outraged at state for putting the tax touch on its affluent members
Cry me a frickin' river..... On the count of three, everyone say "Awwwwwww"
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/27/08

Charlotte County Sheriff on Denise Lee foul up: Nothing went wrong and we're fixing the problem
Yeah... uh huh...
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/26/08

Council cuts off planning staff from lucrative lobbying contracts
Staff to provide facts, not advocacy, to council from here on out; in other news, chairs are being angrily thrown out of windows at the Boone law firm for no discernible reason
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/24/08

Organized crime? In the Florida real estate biz? Nah, that could never happen here
Mortgage fraud led the way in causing the failure of the real estate market -- Tony Soprano smiles and shrugs
-- Tampa Tribune, 01/19/08

Family friendly park ideas
Testers needed as Fark comes up with some wonderful new ideas for playground equipment for Tramonto Vista
-- Fark, 01/23/08

Tom Lyons is confused and paranoid about tax amendment
He suspects that it all may be a sinister government plot to deliberately confuse him; actually, he just might be right
-- Tom Lyons, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/22/08

City out an additional $500K in reef funds because nobody in city's engineering department can figure out how to calculate the weight of a ton of rocks
Aside from the fact that none of the math in this story adds up, there's another question that needs to be asked: when, exactly, were the tax oversight committees made aware of this little problem? Oh, they weren't? Oh really?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/20/08

Tax cut measure not measuring up
Hmmmm... Floridians may not be as stupid as they appear to be after all
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/21/08

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac mortgages to cost more
There goes that tax cut incentive
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/21/08

Zavodnyik on Babcock Ranch: not a good idea
Congestion, water, more upscale development in a flooded market, and then there's that pesky lawsuit -- what's not to like?
-- Naples News Press, 01/17/08

So now we are going to shorten the runways? Or not?
Frbizzle schntzrag geesh lemrok organafoozle bishnog croabable fizenge -- hahaha
-- Venice Gondolier Sun. 10/18/08

Herald-Trib goes into the fiction biz on Tramonto Vista
Kim Hackett's article on the furor over Tramonto Vista Park has a couple of things that are accurate -- for one thing, Tramonto Vista is spelled correctly (also, see our response to Hackett's article)
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/17/08

State Rep. Lisa Carlton, County Commissioner Nora Patterson: CAT FIGHT!!!! CAT FIGHT!!!!
Patterson, Carlton Jell-O wrestle over property tax ballot initiative, crowd gets slimed by the spray... mmmmmm.... Jell-O
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/18/08

Tax cut ballot proposal has caused an uncivil war
Sarasota County Property Appraiser Jim Todora and Gov. Charlie Crist are for the ballot proposal; now take a look at the list of folks who are against it: the Florida League of Cities, the League of Women Voters, virtually all the county commissioners, Sarasota city commissioners, firefighter and police unions, even most of the legislators who crafted the proposal
-- Pelican Press, 01/17/08

The must see Sundance films of geekdom
Sexy zombies, U2 in 3D, Hunter S. Thompson, the end of the world as we know it, and David Bowie in a three-piece suit -- wait, what?
-- Wired, 01/17/08

Property tax amendment news summaries from around the state:
Property tax amendment sows different seeds
-- Naples News, 01/13/08
Florida property tax proposal is not the tax relief we were promised
-- Orlando Sun-Sentinal, 01/16/08
Florida mayors take a stand against property tax amendment
-- WINKnews.com, 01/11/08
Property tax amendment could raise rates
-- Tampa Tribune, 01/10/08
Property tax relief may bring other pains
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/16/08

Not sure who was drunk here, the cops or the news writer
Somebody did something, then somebody else did something, then somebody flashed a badge, and that's about all you can understand from this unintelligible mess of a news story
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/16/08

NSA nutcase wants your email and Google search history
Wait... he already has it... nevermind
-- Wired, 01/15/08

City council, Mike Miller rent a room at Tra Ponti - XOXOXOX
Warm embraces, fuzzy bunnies, scented stationery, Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes, holding hands on the beach, candlelit dinners -- still waiting for Dan Boone or C.J. Fishman to let out a huge belch
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/15/08

What year is this?
Florida dumping state song due to reference to 'darkeys'
In other news, darkeys negroes may be allowed to vote in the next presidential election
-- David Grimes, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/15/08

Libertarians read, right? Then read this...
Tony Long, Wired Magazine's resident Luddite, should be in love with presidential contender Ron Paul for Paul's views on individual rights, but then there's all those bells and alarms that keep sounding off
-- Wired, 01/10/08

North, central Florida fight over water
Central Florida plans to take millions of gallons of water a day out of the St. Johns and Ocklawaha rivers, angering north Florida residents and officials who say that could cause grave environmental damage
-- Associated Press, 01/14/08

County cries foul about potentially living under the same growth rules that county and voters have imposed on cities
Last year, Sarasota County Commission backed a successful voter referendum aimed at limiting growth approved by cities; county is getting ready to scream bloody murder now that a similar referendum is being aimed at them
-- Pelican Press,  01/10/08

It ain't easy being green?
City to look into building Kermiting process
Hizzoner, council want city to be greener; city manager directs staff to come up with every reason imaginable as to how that will be impossible
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/13/08

"There is a God" Dept.:
Say goodbye to Jim Myers
He was an idiot when he was on city council (see quote of the year for 2003, e.g.), he was an idiot when he was on the planning commission, now he can be an idiot yelling "Get off my lawn" from his own front porch
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/12/08

Tra Ponti... gosh... wow...
Hizzoner gushes, land developer Mike Miller blushes... ok, maybe not that last part
--  Ed Martin's blog, 01/11/08

"U SHOULD C THIS 1. HE IS CLOSER TO DEAD. NICE"
Those wacky cops and their texting hijinks -- deputy leaves the scene of a fatal overdose without calling for an ambulance, but that text message to his buds about a dying junkie was hilarious... mom and her lawyer fail to see the humor
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/10/08

"...and one last thing: the Chief has instituted a new policy --
"From now on, if you shoot your own kid, you will be facing a suspension. Alright, that's it, and remember -- let's be careful out there."
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/10/08

The last slow growth referendum was aimed at the cities, now it's time to take on the county
Bill Earl's Control Growth group moves on to Phase II
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/09/08

♪♫ Bella Cita and Tra Ponti,
Council goes for the full Monty ♫♪
Gondo story | Herald-Trib story
Tra Ponti greenlighted after getting squashed down to four stories, so that's OK, sorta kinda, but Bella Cita? That sprawling mess? This is controlled growth? Really?
-- both stories 01/09/07

Real estate psychic Hank Fishkind swears we have really hit the real bottom this time -- no, really, this time he's really, really right
Hank Fishkind is selling the same prediction that he made six months, a year, and a year and a half ago (examples)-- the Herald-Trib swoons in his presence and ponies up for another Tarot reading
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 01/08/07

Bloomberg reports the exact opposite outlook as Fishkind
Ahem...
-- Bloomberg.com, 01/08/08

The next touch screen elections will be perfect -- after all, what could possibly go wrong?
"One might expect computer scientists to be fans of computer-based vote-counting devices, but it turns out that the more you know about computers, the more likely you are to be terrified that they’re running elections"
-- Clive Thompson, NY Times Magazine, 01/06/08

Staub: If a bond can't be passed, let's tax the intrawebs
Musing about funding for River Road, the county commish casually drops the idea of internet sales tax -- this ought to get ugly fast
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/06/08

Tax cut ballot amendment initiative will actually raise taxes
Because, well, hey, this is Florida after all
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 01/06/08